My persistent effort to accomplish.

 
Xiapu - 2018

Xiapu - 2018

The last couple of years have been the most difficult in my life. I have elaborated a little on the reasons in a previous posts. After a roller coaster ride to the end of 2018 and the first few weeks of 2019, coming to terms with mental illness, relocating from one side of the world to the other and then the unexpected death of my mother I have found the need for comfort in things of familiarity and beauty. I need to be isolated from the trials of life in a world of peaceful sounds, delicate scents, emerged in sensations for which no words exist. I needed to return to the world of landscape photography. I thought about taking the year off , to just rest and recuperate, but the call of the outdoors is impossible to resist. I need to venture further away from the morass of memories and emotions that have marked the months before. Recalling memories of thoughts and sensations, I can almost feel the cool dry air, sense the radiant light on my face and the stroke of the breeze against my skin. To be alone again in the deserts or snow, immersed in the comforting views of familiar landscapes, suffocating in wonderful smells of the ground after the rain and the silence I felt. Humbled with gratitude to be rewarded with the world to myself again.

I want to sustain the mix of emotions I have not felt in a long time, and to regain the ability to experience the world with such wonder again as a matter of course. Can I? Grief is something I have never really experienced. I have felt the sting of tears about to form, and I let them. In the course of seconds, or perhaps minutes, more memories and sensations have emerged as I look towards the past, everything enveloped in the tiny halos of memories. I have lost sense of time. My mind transfixed, enchanted, surprised and overwhelmed by the magnitude of emotions and questions, by the memory of what I was, had and what I became, and by anxiety and hope for what I may yet become.

These moments and experiences are what shape my life, and my art is a product of the life I lead. 

Hopefully I can embrace and channel these new moments into my photography, creating images I can be proud of.